My broken record

     Do you remember as a kid having your parents tell you that you sounded like a broken record? There would be something you really wanted or didn't want and you felt the need to repeatedly talk about it. Over. And over. And over. And over again? I think all kids have this incessant need to be heard and understood. And some kids just have this need to hear themselves. I'm pretty sure I'm one of them on both accounts.
     I feel like this last year has been building up to this point and especially the last six months, but all I probably sound like to those around me is a broken record. A record that is supposed to be playing something lovely, or beautiful, or helpful, or enjoyable, but my record is stuck at a flaw. At a scratch. At a point that I just can't get past. And so the same line repeats itself over and over and over again. I can't handle when my kids repeat something more than a few times, but lately I've wondered how the patient people around me haven't lost it on me because of my repetition.
      I know God is patient with us, but even He allowed the children of Israel to face consequences of poor choices and unholy desires that they wouldn't shut up about (golden calf, anyone?). Yet I don't feel as though my request is unholy. Longing for a home is as natural as breathing. Wasn't that the Israelites hope? For God's promised land, their home, the land that would meet their needs? (Side note: I don't think I'm off in my biblical knowledge, but if someone has insight feel free to share!)
   My broken record of asking friends to "pray about our house situation", "pray for a home that meets our needs", and as of this morning "pray that the offer placed on the home we're living in is all in God's timing and that we find the right home for us much sooner than we expected" is starting to wear me out. We haven't been wandering in the desert for 40 years, but my longing is ever growing and my record is wearing thin.
       I think this blog entry tonight is for me to acknowledge that I've been fixated for a while on this whole desperation for a home and for me to apologize to the dear kind souls who've tolerated my pleas and haggard begging for prayers with great patience and faithfulness. I owe you big time. Also, to ask for those brothers and sisters to hang in there with us just a little longer, if you feel the long-suffering to do so. Just a little longer.
   And finally, I know this world isn't our true home. I know my ultimate longing is to be home in the presence of my Savior. That's where I'm homesick for in the deepest part of me, and that is the perspective I would like to be fixated on in the long run... I'm trying.