The last year has been so clouded with unknowns and yet we've had to perpetually push forward. It was like driving with a destination in mind, but without a map, without a GPS, and the windshield was smeared. But if you didn't drive, you'd crash. Almost like living the movie Speed, metaphorically, but without Keanu Reeves' bad acting or a bomb. Or a bus. Ok, maybe not like Speed at all, but we have had to keep moving forward even when there'd been no indication where we needed to go.
Let me backtrack a little: all our good intentions for the house we had been renting came crashing down once we knew we couldn't purchase the home and land and still be able to afford the many updates and upgrades to the home to truly make it comfortable for our family of seven. The panicked scramble to get the house on the market and sold sent us spiraling into a frenzy of packing and moving when we didn't even have a home to move into. The stress and frustration and uncertainty of where we were going to go, where our belongings were going to be, how we were going to be able to arrange our lives temporarily were all-consuming and hard to swallow. And yet, God is good. He cares about us and cares for our children's well-being even more than we do, so trusting Him was not only important, it was critical.
The mad dash to be moved was now replaced with the surreal feeling of limbo, trying to keep life going while we lived temporarily. The amount of commuting, small spaces we lived in, time sharing, meal sharing, and life sharing that we did these last five months were hard. Very very hard. And yet so beautiful, so life-affirming, so deep in building relationships and character, that I truly see God's design. Would I have chosen to live partly in a camper and partly in my inlaw's house an hour away from school, church, or Luke's work? Nope. But would I trade the love my kids developed for their grandparents, the friendship that grew with my inlaws, or the gratitude for God's provision we learned in the time of partial homelessness? Absolutely not.
While living at my inlaws, we waited for the right house for our family. We thought we had found it in a beautiful, 100 year old home in the heart of downtown Salem. The neighbors were friends of ours, the house had the spaces we were praying for, the shop Luke was needing, and the timing seemed perfect. We made plans, we paid for all preliminary necessities, we fell in love with the idea of this house. But God knew. He knew it wouldn't have been the best for us. He knew it wouldn't be the best layout and living situation for our family. And even in the devastation of losing a house we thought we were going to love, He worked through unsuspecting loved ones and endeared them to us even more as well as bringing a deeper dependency on His guidance and will. It was a painful blow to be dealt, but the best was yet to come!
(Continued in Pt. 2)
