As I lay here sleepless next to my sleeping (read: snoring) husband, perusing Facebook and all its social media compatriots, I'm reminded of how small of a window we get into other people's lives. The picture we receive is small and incomplete, so we often take it upon ourselves to fill in the unseen parts and make assumptions of people that are only partially true. We see what others allow us to see, some more than others.
I'm no different. I only share small glimpses into my life, the fun or the funny, the life lessons I've learned (kinda like now, right?), the cute, the silly, sometimes serious, but hardly ever do I share my raw moments. My bumbling, struggling, barely keeping my head above water moments stay safely tucked away for my family to suffer through or even just for my heart and mind to battle out while begging the Lord to carry me through. And I only rarely share those moments, if ever, because I fear snap judgements, criticism, or even worse someone choosing to end a friendship right then and there because the picture they've painted in their minds of me has now been entirely colored by my moments of weakness, faltering, and perhaps sin.
Reading through my Facebook feeds and news articles and blog upon blog upon blog of opinions and armchair activists only confirms for me that we all too often respond without knowledge of entire situations. Our knees jerk with lightning speed to rally support for some worthy, or at least personal, cause and urge people to join our chorus of whatever chant we've taken up for the moment. At least we want enough people to agree with us so we feel confirmation of "rightness" and "justified". Sometimes it truly is a noble cause or at least seemingly worthy, but again, is being swept up in a wave of emotions in our heart from mere snapshots on the screen wise?
I'm reminded of Kony2012 and how so many folks, me included, were quick to jump on this intensely emotional bandwagon that was not just from one news article, but from a WHOLE 30 MINUTE VIDEO!! Wow!!! We were SO informed!!! We were so wise and charitable and noble because our hearts hurt for what seemed like such a true and worthy cause! It went viral, as these things tend to do, and became huge! Celebrities began endorsing it, even, so we KNEW it must be true, right? RIGHT?! ...right... And come to find out, it was only just what it always is: half truths beefed up, hyped up, dramatized, and shamelessly painted in order to create the very stir it caused and garner sympathy and money for its creator(s). Sad to say, the wool was pulled over many eyes and once the harsh reality came to light about its creator, the painful truth of the very real plight of very real people suffering inhumanity was drowned out by the jaded voices of those angry about being duped and investing emotions and wasting their half an hour and possibly money on charms and trinkets made to stroke their pride and feel oh so charitable and good.
Such is the life we lead today, so wired and online, but still completely in the dark about truth and everyday life. Instead of investing in real relationships with those around us, truly getting to know people and asking deeper questions and opening ourselves up to the same, we hunker down over our phones, we lounge with our laptops, and we continue to pretend our lives are THIS good, THIS bad, THIS mixed up, THIS sexy, THIS spiritual, or THIS concerned about causes here and there.
And as I type this on my phone at 4:30 on Thanksgiving morning, it's so easy to call people out for the very things I'm horribly guilty of: making you believe a picture of me that isn't a complete painting. I have a lot (A LOT) of ugly colors that exist in my everyday life, most of my own making. However, I don't want to make believe or pretend for the sake of fear. It will always be impossible for me to paint an absolutely clear picture 100% of the time mostly because the colors keep changing, but believe when I say I'd like to invite you to seek out the missing pieces. Ask the tough questions, be willing to patiently and lovingly receive the answers, and open yourself up to the same. Be a careful, gracious, understanding person, and allow others to be the same for you. Be purposeful and genuine. I want to be that as well. Maybe if each of us puts even just a little bit more effort in being personal and being in person, we can create a better, bigger, more realistic picture of our lives TOGETHER. That would be a much nicer painting to look at and live, don't you think?
(Also, Happy Thanksgiving, friends. May your conversations be rich, organic, honest, and slathered in generous portions of love!)
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